what a failure

i'm already 20 but i still cant handle situations.. Wat i failure of me.. Now my eyes swollen like gold fish.. Juz stopped crying after an hour.. Sorry to my dear dear..i woke him up middle of da night juz to listen to my childish thoughts and crying.. Me reali feel guilty about it.. Tot of calling him after his test.. But I'm reali scared, so i called him without waiting..then ended up kacau-ed him.. Reali sorry to dear dear..and thank you for helping me so so much.. I reali cant imagine solving problems without ur help.. Thank you,dear..