I've learned that i have a bad habit...which is being straight forward...some ppl might be saying that it's a good thing instead of bad because there are ppl around us who are wearing a thick thick mask which can change from time to time to different ppl....scary huh? but that's not my topic this time...
Back to my topic...being straight forward is very subjective...but being sensitive in what i heard but not sensitive while talking leads me to a lot a lot of problem...thanks to my dear dear who reali reminding me this....
I have this bad habit...i listen to what ppl tell me...if from my friend, i'll be sensitive...sensitive in a sense that easily being hurt....but when i talk, i din know it will offend anyone as i din know that i'll have such an impact in ppl's heart...so i din analyse my words before it comes out from my mouth...or chinese called it as "din go thru my brain before i talk"...
I have a friend whom i knew during primary but we wasn't close until secondary school...around form 3 i think...i remembered so clear that i went to her house whenever i wanted to do revision...kononnya revision but actually watch animation together...sharing same big container of ice cream...gossip together...then go to school together.... She is reali my bestie...my BEST BEST EVER friend.... I share my every single secret with her....i shared my everything which is inside my inner heart... I be friend with her with my whole heart i swear....
But everything started to change when i started to become a prefect....(before prefect i was a pengawas koperasi with her) After i became a prefect, she is still a pengawas koperasi....but still i try to talk to her...but i feel that she is having her own circle of friends and da gap between us begin to further....i was so sad and hurt... it wasn't my choice to be a prefect as i reali enjoy my time with her...i was nominated to be a prefect so i doesn't have a choice...i'm reali sad at that period....
Until now, we are in da same university... our gap is stil far away...even we are sitting in da same car, sitting side by side in a restaurant, standing in front of each other and even talking to each other... i cant find da bond that we used to have.... we always talk about da same thing over and over again... God knows what happen.... Even she invited me to our primary gathering or outings...i'm reali glad that she invite me...i'm so happy to go...but she is with our friends most of the time while i feel like I went there alone...is not complaining but it is how i felt at that time.... I was so sad and i'm smiling...surprisingly i can do that....
I found out that we have da same habit, same attitude, same thinking....we are too much alike and in common that's why we have da problem... I'm sensitive in listening but not while talking and so does she...so both of us are hurt by each other's word.... I'm praying to God...how nice if i were to sensitive while talking but not listening.... How i wish i never hurt her.... How i wish i never done those silly mistakes..... How stupid i am to lose such a nice friend like her.... How i wish i can turn back da time when we were together....
In this very moment while i'm writing about her...i'm thinking about her... i reali missed da time when we used to spend time with each other.... I am here to apologize to her with my whole heart... I would do anything just to mend my mistakes for us to be as close as before....
I'm sorry, Wen Yi... Will you forgive me?
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4 comments:
It's not that you talk without going thru your brain, it's just that you are being very frank, truthful.
People like to hear sweet words about themselves only. That is why when we being frank and honest towards them, they will somehow develop a disliking towards us.
But this is just the way it is.
We can't change them =)
"Giving you honey all the time, You'll develop diabetes"
If people get upset just because you are being honest and all, too bad for them i'll say. =)
erm...kinda true about what u've comment...
But then when more and more friends are leaving for da same reason...don't u think my myself oso have problem?
sam... if they can't accept you for who you are... then there's no point holding on to this friendship... i love your character and after reading your post... i think there's nothing wrong with you being frank... true that you might hurt someone you care... but if they can't understand why you're telling them their flaws... then its their lost, they can nvr improve from there...
don't ever change who you are... you'll find friends who are worth along the way... remember... as long as you are sincere to your friends... they'll be sincere to you in the end... and you'll nvr know... their might be 10 friends who left you for being frank... but there'll be 1000 friends out there who loves you for who you are =) take care~ and stay true ^^
erm... perhaps if i use a better way to tell them will be better rite? i mean with better word that can be accepted by them to express what i wanted to say...
thanks for ur comment, steph...
take care ya~
keep in touch~
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